why i hate oprah

i know you’re not supposed to hate anybody. and i really don’t actually hate oprah.

let’s just call it an intense dislike of everything she stands for and everything i’ve ever seen her do and every appearance she’s made in my brain.

other than when she was in “the color purple”. she was great in that. but it was before she was “oprah” in all capital letters which i don’t use on this site.

other than, that, can’t stand her. and here’s the latest reason why.
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worst. marketing. ever.

dell has introduced their latest “ipod killer”. it’s called the “dell ditty”. as dave barry is so fond of saying, i am not making this up.

i am also not making up this unfortunate website which dell has apparently created to promote this unfortunately named product.

honestly, i thought this was a parody site. i’m still not sure that it isn’t. if i’m missing some joke here, please let me know. is this loser guy in a track suit supposed to make me want to buy a dell ditty? even al sharpton doesn’t wear these anymore.

and can you picture the conversation if you actually had one of these things?

“is that an ipod?”

“no, it’s my new dell ditty.”

[hysterical laughter]

“well, it’s not my fault. my grandmother gave it to me.”

and the comments here will make you pee your pants laughing.

dubious achievement

i guess it was the widget. or maybe redoing the html and taking away the frames.

but i’m now the number one jamie howard in google. both without quotes around my name and with quotes around my name.

just a week ago i was number eight without quotes, and three pages back with quotes around my name. who knew?

it’s not much of an achievement. in fact it’s no achievement at all. and i’m still ambivalent about it, although it must mean something to me because i check for it now and then.

the gayest entree ever

the gayest entree ever
it’s masak nenas
photo courtesy of kelly

well, it was delicious. the menu describes it as “your choice of shrimp, chicken, or beef,” (i chose chicken) “with pineapple chunks, bell pepper, mint, and scallions in a spicy curry sauce.”

actually, to be completely accurate, the menu should read, “your choice of shrimp, chicken, or beef with pineapple chunks, bell pepper, mint, and scallions in a spicy curry sauce, in a hollowed-out half pineapple garnished with a paper tiki umbrella from our bar. it’s not flaming, but you are.”

as bill maher might say, i kid the malaysians. it was a very tasty entree, and the accompanying green tea and ginger bubble tea was sublime. the restaurant is called satay malaysian cuisine; our friend kelly took kirk and i there before we went to see rasputina on thursday, and it was a good choice.

rasputina. not bad!

i’d been cranky about going to see this band. frankly, yesterday’s post was more an attempt to kick myself in the ass to try to enjoy an evening about which i was, at best, dubious.

well, who knew.

not only was rasputina not bad, they were very very good. in fact, i’d go so far as to say they were pretty close to brilliant.

i used to care a lot, as faith no more once cynically said, about music. i was a nightclub dj and went out every single night for years on end. but music lately?

feh.
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questions to ask

it’s the 4th anniversary of 9/11. and i have some questions.

for dick cheney: during the last election, you said that if we elected john kerry, we’d all die. care to stand in new orleans and revise your comments?

for george bush: why should we believe that your administration’s response to hurricane katrina is anything other than an indicator of your typical response to a terror attack?
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my last mchale’s burger?

i’m hoping it’s not true, or hoping for a reprieve, or hoping that someone gets some sense, or something.

mchale’s, a perfectly wonderful open secret of a bar, is set to close soon, according to the new york times, which by the way will make you pay $3.95 to read about it.

but trust me. it says that the building was sold and the new owners are kicking them out. which really ticks me off.
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