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Category Archives: humor

what’s your brazilname?


if you played football (soccer for the u.s. crowd) for brazil, what would your name be? the brazilian football name generator will tell you. mine is “howeiro”. this is much easier than figuring out your drag name, which involves remembering your first pet’s name and the street you grew up on, facts that anyone interested […]

summer of crap


i used to read more. i used to accomplish more. i used to tinker more. i used to explore more. i used to move more. now i just watch tv. it’s an addiction, you know. and boy am i addicted. and, to be honest, i probably don’t watch any more tv than i ever did. […]

march together for life


the onion is a satirical newspaper whose goal is to present satirical content in a straightforward manner, so much so that their articles can be mistaken for real. mistaken for real, that is, if you are a total idiot who has no concept of what satire is. which, apparently, is the case with pete, the […]

i do not look like anita mui


whoever the hell she is. is a cool-ish new (new to me, anyway) geneaology website that has face-recognition software that, i suppose, is supposed to be useful in tracking down just who the hell that person in the back of that old photo is, or something. but to attract mass amounts of users of […]

not going to find it here


this site is registered at, so i can get lots of info about my site there. one of the most interesting pages is a list of the top search queries for my site, and where my site ranks in that query. when i need a laugh, i go look at the list. it amazes […]

bird flu awareness night


via gawker: newark bears bird flu awareness night. from the site: Bird Flu Awareness Night featuting a pre-game chicken wing eating contest presented by Planet Wings and a Post-Game Fireworks Spectacular presented by Saint Barnabas Health Care System/Clara Maass Medical Center bird flu awareness celebrated by a chicken-eating contest. this is pretty much the dictionary […]

a woman i’d like to know


mary wohlford, that’s who. the eighty-year-old great-grandmother had “do not resuscitate” tatooed in big letters across the middle of her chest. although it’s probably not legally binding, as she says it will at least give those emergency room people a moment of pause, and she hopes it will provoke discussion of an important issue. good […]

stealing my subway sub


which, by the way, i didn’t do, but got accused of this morning. i should explain. i’m famous among those who know me for my even temper when dealing with customer service issues. i’m pretty good at getting what i want from customer service people, and the first rule of dealing with them is to […]

a really catchy tune


here’s a fun link: worst web design of 2005. lots of links to sites with monumentally bad design. and i thought my site had problems. my favorite is this one: the association of international glaucoma societies. you can even download their “glaucoma hymn”, which has to be heard to be believed. or don’t download it, […]

ipod packaging parody


it’s a very busy day ’round here today. have a look at this parody on it shows what would have happened had microsoft invented the ipod and designed the packaging. brilliant.

not ready for aarp


i got the invitation in the mail the other day. would i like to join aarp? lots of benefits. it’s not expensive. you really should. they must be kidding. i’m only 42.

news in brief


from an article on saddam hussein’s forced attendance at his trial: “degradation and shame upon you, raouf,” saddam yelled. later, he called the investigating judges “homosexuals.” saddam, you wacky gay-basher/closeted homosexual you. from an article on show dogs braving the new york blizzard conditions: …the 1969 blizzard created even more havoc. that was the year […]

the guy with the hard-on at the gym


the title pretty much says it all. now i’m not a prude, although i admit to being pretty wasp-y. and i know it’s a natural function, and shit happens, and whatnot. but really. what’s going on here?

headline of the day


bush urges end to cartoon violence. the road runner, yosemite sam, superman, and the like had better watch out. george w. means business! thanks to kirk for the link.

wonder showzen in itunes


i may just make my first itunes video purchase, even though i don’t have a video ipod. wonder showzen. you can still play those downloaded episodes on tv, you know. just burn them to a dvd. they are lower quality, but i’ve read that they look approximately like a vhs recording, so that’s not bad.

i think i just peed a little


how conservatives argue: a case study. funniest thing i’ve read since some indeterminate time in the past.

animated singing santa hack


now this is the funniest thing i’ve seen in ages. you know that ubiquitous 5-foot dancing talking santa they sell at wal-mart? well, this artist/hacker decided to reprogram it to, well… let’s just say that santa has now been bent to this very creative guy’s will. at the artist’s request, i haven’t linked directly to […]

the boondocks


so i’m still making up my mind about last week’s storyline from “the boondocks”. but i think i’m ok with it. the topic? the new movie “brokeback mountain”.

why didn’t you think of that?


or, also, why didn’t i think of that? this guy is trading up for items starting with a red paper clip, with the ultimate goal of trading for a house. he’s already traded up to a snowmobile, and now the story is all over the internets and the media, so you just know this guy […]

stuff i’m digging today


here’s what i’m digging today. by the way, radio city christmas show tonight. the orchestra settled their strike or lockout or whatever, so there will be live music and therefore i will be in attendance and not yelling at the house manager instead. oh yeah. here’s what i’m digging today.