Category: humor

the easy way out

~ jamie ~ Leave a comment

i’m busy at work today and have to leave early for my annual checkup at dr. kamlet’s office, so i’m going to just repost an email i got this morning.

and i’m in such a hurry that i’ll even leave the capital letters intact. banner day for queerspace.com.

it’s a very funny letter written in reply to a comment by dr. laura. who knew that old gasbag was still bloviating? i guess she is. if anyone knows the source so i can give “jim” proper credit, please let me know. this may be the oldest circulating email on the internet for all i know–i don’t have time to check it out on snopes.com.

read it after the jump. that means click “more”, in case you don’t know what a “jump” is.
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men dating me

~ jamie ~ Leave a comment

i have two ways to search this site. one is using the greymatter blog search box located at the top right of the main page. it searches the blog only. the other is the “search entire site” page which uses atomz.com to perform the search.

by the way, that’s the only place you’ll see ads on this site. i gotta fix that sometime. i hate ads.

and greymatter keeps a record of what people search for, and atomz.com sends me a weekly email summary, so i know what people are looking for. not surprisingly, 95% of searches are for some variation on “naked” and “men”.

sorry to disappoint you.

this week’s summary email brought an interesting search , though. so now, in the spirit of satisfying my public, since apparently someone is interested in this, i will discuss the phrase “men dating me”.
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switching to a mac

~ jamie ~ Leave a comment

yes i’m switching to a mac. more in a moment.

but first, i saw the movie “the aristocrats” this weekend, and i’m still making up my mind on the ranking, but i’m pretty sure it was the funniest movie i’ve ever seen, and just might be my favorite movie of the year thus far. and in addition to being riotously funny, it’s brilliantly insightful about the process of comedy and by inference, about freedom of speech.

but my god is it filthy. don’t see it unless you are completely unable to be offended, which i am not able to be. offended.

but do see it if you are worried about your right to be offended, because this movie is still flying under the radar. but it will eventually be topic one in sunday church and on fox news. and nothing would be a bigger statement against that crap than big box office numbers, which this movie is getting already. after it’s first week of release, it’s on the list of all-time biggest box office by theater–$65,000 per theater in only 4 theaters–which makes me very very happy. go go go dirty movie!

oh yes, the mac.
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the rap clause

~ jamie ~ Leave a comment

lil’ kim’s conviction caused me to rethink yesterday’s rules, and so, i give to you,

the rap clause: file this as a subpoint to the rule of famous. famous rappers are the exception to the fame rule–they are always convicted. why? ain’t it obvious? it’s a racial thing. there may be times, maybe most times, maybe nearly all times, when rappers are guilty, but i’ll bet that innocent rappers have nevertheless been convicted.

p diddy/puff daddy you say? not a rapper. please.

this, by the way, is an ideal blog entry to gizzogle.

now i’m off to eat lots of birthday pennsylvania dutch excess with the in-laws (and of course the hubby as well.) with apologies to dorothy parker, here’s my take:

oh life is a glorious cycle of food
a medley of extemporanea
discussing your next meal whilst eating’s not rude
and i am marie of roumania

cheers all–happy weekend!

justice in america

~ jamie ~ Leave a comment

so, with the recent spate of criminal judgments against rich and famous people, i’ve sensed a pattern and can conclusively say that guilt or innocence in the american justice system comes down to one thing.

perception.

and if you think about it, there are apparently hard and fast rules to govern your fate in this system. i’ve thought and thought, and i think these formulas work pretty well. what do you think?
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the inverness cooter festival

~ jamie ~ Leave a comment

i’m from floral city, florida originally, but that’s just a smaller town than the small town which is the county seat of citrus county–inverness, florida. citrus county (which, ironically, has little to no citrus, at least in a commercial sense) is a sleepy part of northwest central florida. it’s probably most famous for the manatees you can swim with in crystal river, and the nuclear plant.

but imagine my shock when i, having tried mightily to forget the whole place (none of my family and not too many people i keep up with live there), see the city of inverness featured on the daily show with jon stewart.

actually, not the city featured, but its cooter. festival.
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childhood unconsciousness

~ jamie ~ 3 Comments

everyone has their backlog of stories. i sure do. i really respect a person who has the confidence to be able to tell a story or two on themselves. a little humility and self-deprecating humor goes a long way with me.

so, in that spirit, i’ll occasionally tell a story or two on myself on here. that way when the probably inevitable senility sets in (both my mom and my dad have alzheimers. poor kirk.) i’ll be able to read these stories (assuming i still can) and say, “my, what an interesting life this fellow had.”

don’t be offended. you gotta laugh. what else can you do?
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