queerspace.com
type: channel
description: jamie lawrence-howard • highly absorbent redundant and superfluous verbiage • clogging tubes since 9.1.98
date: 2026-05-23T14:10:32Z
update period: hourly
update frequency: 1
update base: 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00
items: Limón Indanza
items: Special characters
items: Kapawi
items: Loja
items: Kirk and Jamie Christmas Song Playlist
items: Jamie minus Kirk plus 365 equals
items: Vilcabamba and Izhcayluma
items: Alausí and Nariz Del Diablo
items: Quilatoa
items: Cotopaxi

Limón Indanza
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2026-05-23T14:10:32Z
subject: General
description: I had paid a 50% deposit for my stay in Limón Indanza at Buglas Birding Lodge, in an area of Amazonian cloud forest about two hours west of Cuenca, on the recommendation of a friend who was a frequent guest. But events conspired to delay my stay. My one-week-a-month travel to various Ecuadorian locales was … Continue reading Limón Indanza
encoded: I had paid a 50% deposit for my stay in Limón Indanza at Buglas Birding Lodge, in an area of Amazonian cloud forest about two hours west of Cuenca, on the recommendation of a friend who was a frequent guest. But events conspired to delay my stay. My one-week-a-month travel to various Ecuadorian locales was interrupted initially by the paro (national strike) last year which made interprovincial bus travel difficult for about a month. And I supported the right of the Ecuadorian indigenous to strike; I’m not one to cross a picket line. So no Buglas. And shortly before I was to leave on a subsequent rescheduled date, the ceiling collapsed in the living room of my apartment. Yes. Workers were repairing the tile roof of my adobe building and apparently miscalculated the load. I had stepped out for coffee and returned to a disaster. Luckily the workers did not fall in with it so they were OK, and my cats (as usual) were in the bedroom and thus unharmed. But the apartment was a disaster. None of my possessions were damaged, but there was the dust of several hundred years of adobe building everywhere. In addition to having no living room ceiling. Fortunately I have a great duena (landlord) who immediately offered to pay for an Airbnb. The cats and I stayed with a friend so that wasn’t necessary. And she got workers in to renovate the entire apartment, repaint all the walls, and steam clean everything, beginning on a holiday weekend and continuing straight through for eight days. Unheard of in Ecuador; she truly was a miracle worker. I returned to a structurally sound apartment that was better than before, and with new-to-me furniture as a bonus. So that was Limón Indanza delay number two. Rodrigo at Buglas was totally understanding through all this. And it took me a few months to get my act together, but I finally rescheduled for a week in mid-May. And wow, was it worth the wait. Normally I just ride the interprovincial buses, slow and cheap. This time to get to Buglas, whic…

Special characters
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2026-05-13T12:59:02Z
subject: General
description: When Kirk and I got married in New York in 2012, we had three choices of last name. Choice number one: I took his name or he took mine. Choice number two: combine the two names into one. This was Kirk’s choice. He wanted “Laward”. He liked it because it was “going toward the law.” … Continue reading Special characters
encoded: When Kirk and I got married in New York in 2012, we had three choices of last name. Choice number one: I took his name or he took mine. Choice number two: combine the two names into one. This was Kirk’s choice. He wanted “Laward”. He liked it because it was “going toward the law.” I vetoed it because it sounded like “lard”. That left the third choice: hyphenation. That’s what we went with, to our future consternation. On reflection, I should’ve taken his name. You would think that, given the large numbers of people that hyphenate, there would be no issues. You would be wrong. It’s confusing to people and businesses in general. Filling out forms raises questions. Manual data entry by clerks is always hit and miss. Also computer systems are generally not set up consistently to deal with the hyphen. So online, sometimes I was hyphenated and sometimes I wasn’t. If the site didn’t accept a hyphen, you had to leave a space. Unless the system wouldn’t accept that. Which made me Lawrencehoward. The problem was tangentially exacerbated when we moved to Reading. Our address had a slash for 15 1/2 Street. And if I thought the hyphen was a problem, the slash was even worse. I was 15 and One Half Street all over the Internet. Which brings me to Ecuador. It’s very common here, even universal, to have two last names. And a couple of first names. But nobody hyphenates. When my temporary visa was issued here, the visa computer system allowed for special characters. That matched my US passport, which also had the hyphen. But the cedula (a cedula is your ID here in Ecuador), in a different system, did not allow for that. So my cedula has my first name, middle name, and both last names. Four names. No guion en mi cedula. That’s actually perfect, because every last Ecuadorian has four names. And so do I! I love it. For the first time in a very long time, I’m officially like everyone else. Fast forward two years. I have applied for my permanent visa here in Ecuador. They have a new visa …

Kapawi
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-12-19T17:15:57Z
subject: General
description: After a delay of a couple of months due to the paro (national strike that briefly affected intercity travel), I headed to Kapawi Ecolodge in the Pastaza province, near the southeastern border with Peru. There was only one time during which buses went from Cuenca to Puyo, the jumping-off point for travel to Kapawi, and … Continue reading Kapawi
encoded: After a delay of a couple of months due to the paro (national strike that briefly affected intercity travel), I headed to Kapawi Ecolodge in the Pastaza province, near the southeastern border with Peru. There was only one time during which buses went from Cuenca to Puyo, the jumping-off point for travel to Kapawi, and that was an eight hour bus starting at 9pm. Overnight bus travel is always a bit riskier, so I opted to go stay with my friend Irma at Casa de Marmol in Riobamba. That broke the travel up into three days: Saturday six hours by bus Cuenca to Riobamba, Sunday three hours by bus Riobamba to Puyo, an overnight stay at El Jardin Puyo, and a short taxi ride to the airport in nearby Shell on Monday morning for my small plane ride to Kapawi. I was nursing the beginnings of a cold on the morning of my departure to Riobamba, and it got worse as the day went on. I’m a firm believer, right or not, in sweating out a cold. Piled on the blankets in my comfy Casa de Marmol room, and awakened the next morning feeling much better, though congested. The travel from Riobamba to Puyo meant a descent to close to sea level, and it was several hours before my ears cleared. El Jardin Puyo was a little paradise; the grounds were gorgeous and my room was well-appointed. Monday morning I met my Kapawi traveling companion Helene from Belgium, who was also staying at El Jardin Puyo, and who graciously shared her prepaid ride to the Shell airport. Helene was a very well-seasoned traveler and a dedicated birdwatcher with all the right camera equipment. We bonded over breakfast and headed out. The plane ride to Kapawi from Shell was about an hour, in a four-seat Cessna. It was, to be honest, a bit daunting at first. I had the seat to the right of the pilot, with all the duplicate controls I had to avoid touching with my hands and feet. But the pilot clearly knew what he was doing, and I settled in and took pictures as we went. The airport in Shell had a small terminal and paved landin…

Loja
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-12-15T16:44:24Z
subject: General
description: I headed to Loja, Ecuador in mid-November for a long weekend (Friday to Tuesday) at their annual Arte en Vivo festival. It’s two weeks of live performances — dance, theater, and music, and most of the events are free. Kirk and I were interested in Loja as a place to settle down, but didn’t have … Continue reading Loja
encoded: I headed to Loja, Ecuador in mid-November for a long weekend (Friday to Tuesday) at their annual Arte en Vivo festival. It’s two weeks of live performances — dance, theater, and music, and most of the events are free. Kirk and I were interested in Loja as a place to settle down, but didn’t have time to visit on our exploratory trip. Ironically we had reserved an Airbnb, a driver, and a guide to go there the week that Kirk went into the hospital. With everything cancelled more than a year ago, the guide Jonathan Poma was kind enough to bank our prepayment, and he took me around Loja for Saturday (tour of Loja) and Sunday (real estate tour of the area) for this November trip. I liked Loja quite a bit. It was most of what Cuenca is, but smaller, and without the gringos. I absolutely loved the downtown — compact but with lots of great restaurants, bars, and shops. Very good vibe. Interestingly price wise food and housing was generally comparable to Cuenca. Most of the places I visit are cheaper. Rentals are scarce now, as parts of Loja currently have a water crisis due to some infrastructure issues, which raises the prices in the unaffected areas. The other thing I loved about Loja was the Spanish that was spoken. Very slow and musical, with all syllables pronounced clearly. I liked that aspect so much that I worked out a deal with my Airbnb owner to have his place for the month of March. My plan is to spend the month there and do some intensive Spanish classes, away from any opportunity to speak English. My Spanish is basic and transactional, but I’m certainly past the gringos who only use present tense for everything. And I have no illusions of being fluent. But I know how much harder it is to keep Spanish in my head, a task that will only get more difficult with passing years. Hopefully an intensive month will cement it in my remaining cells. The first day there I befriended someone who was there with slack rope performers. I ended up hanging out with them for most o…

Kirk and Jamie Christmas Song Playlist
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-12-01T03:35:06Z
subject: General
description: Kirk and Jamie Christmas Song Playlist on YouTube Kirk and I always made our own Christmas cards, and in 2001 we made a CD and mailed it to our distribution list at the time. It was somewhat simple (MIDI files and GarageBand) but fun and people seemed to like it. I got a couple of … Continue reading Kirk and Jamie Christmas Song Playlist
encoded: Kirk and Jamie Christmas Song Playlist on YouTube Kirk and I always made our own Christmas cards, and in 2001 we made a CD and mailed it to our distribution list at the time. It was somewhat simple (MIDI files and GarageBand) but fun and people seemed to like it. I got a couple of requests for the files this year — a few people played it as a Christmas tradition (no accounting for taste, I guess) and so rather than just rip my copy of the CD, I went back into Kirk’s GarageBand files to process the originals. Boy am I glad I did. In addition to the 2001 original CD, there were a few Christmas songs from a limited distribution 2009 CD. And a slew of others that he recorded and I didn’t know about. In all, there are 28 Christmas songs, most of them featuring Kirk solo. A few from 2001 feature my attempts to sing, solo and with Kirk, to varying degrees of success. We had fun, though. There’s also a bonus song #29 – “A You’re Adorable”, which was originally recorded for our godson Zane Pagano. There are a lot of other non-Christmas Kirk songs that I found, which I will post at a later date. As our Christmas card distribution list changed over time, some of you might not be at all aware of the existence of these songs. Maybe for you this is a pleasant surprise and I hope you enjoy it. For the rest of you, it may be a reminder of something you forgot about. I’ve converted the songs into YouTube videos with a static title slide, and put them into a playlist. The playlist is set to private, but feel free to share the link if you so choose. Kirk and Jamie Christmas Song Playlist on YouTube

Jamie minus Kirk plus 365 equals
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-09-03T18:31:45Z
subject: kirk
subject: travel
description: Hard to believe an entire year has gone by, living my half of a whole dream. It’s been a complicated week. August 29 was Kirk’s birthday — he would have been 63. And today, September 3, is the one year anniversary of his passing. I still shy away from using the word “death”. I’m not … Continue reading Jamie minus Kirk plus 365 equals
encoded: Hard to believe an entire year has gone by, living my half of a whole dream. It’s been a complicated week. August 29 was Kirk’s birthday — he would have been 63. And today, September 3, is the one year anniversary of his passing. I still shy away from using the word “death”. I’m not sure why. Perhaps using it would be a final admission of the finality. I believe the universe sends you things when you need them, if you pay attention. I’m a big Sinatra fan. A couple of days ago, via Andrew Hickey’s excellent podcast “A History of Rock Music In 500 Songs”, I became aware of Frank Sinatra’s 1970 concept album “Watertown”, which was a critical and commercial failure at the time but has undergone a reappraisal. Upon sampling it, I found a brilliant song, “For A While”, which has been a touchstone to carry me through this week. “Lost in day to day Turn another way With a laugh, a kind hello Some small talk with those I know I forget that I’m not over you For a while” I vacillate between the everyday times I’m not remembering Kirk, and the times when I suddenly remember him in some context, sometimes with associated but decreasing guilt over the forgetting. Complicating this is my brain state called aphantasia. It means that, when I close my eyes and try to picture something, there’s nothing there. On one end of that spectrum, people can visualize entire vivid, lifelike movies. On my extreme opposite end, there’s nothing visual at all. If you ask me to close my eyes and picture, say, a dog, I have a detailed concept of that dog in my head, partially a verbal description. But I can’t actually see anything. Paradoxically, the concept is clearer if I have my eyes open, but it’s still not an actual picture. My infrequent dreams are the same – conceptual and minimally verbal, but not visual. It interferes with my memory of events — I know I did something, but I can’t visualize it, and my mind’s concept-in-a-box has fewer and fewer details over time. Relying on my phone’s picture…

Vilcabamba and Izhcayluma
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-08-26T22:33:11Z
subject: travel
description: Normally I write these posts as the trips unfold. This one required some time and distance, though, as there was an unusual amount of negatives I wanted to reflect on. Vilcabamba holds a very special place in Ecuadorian gringo lore. It’s one of two small towns (Cotacachi being the other) that have an outsized popularity … Continue reading Vilcabamba and Izhcayluma
encoded: Normally I write these posts as the trips unfold. This one required some time and distance, though, as there was an unusual amount of negatives I wanted to reflect on. Vilcabamba holds a very special place in Ecuadorian gringo lore. It’s one of two small towns (Cotacachi being the other) that have an outsized popularity in comparison to their small size. But Vilcabamba stands alone with its reputation for attracting — there’s no other way to say it — conspiracy theorists. I’m told this started in the sixties and seventies, when US citizens moved here in small numbers to avoid the draft, and the small, isolated gringo community was a breeding ground for insular thought. Before moving to Cuenca, Kirk and I assiduously watched a YouTube channel based in the area, and we focused on the good information it provided until the regular mentions of the dangers of chemtrails became too frequent, and we unsubscribed. That’s pretty typical, according to legend. Lots of tin foil hat stuff. I wanted to find out for myself. Izhcayluma, though, is a separate and much smaller town, about a half hour brisk walk from Vilca, with no such baggage. Its gringo fame comes from the resort/spa that is located there, built by two Germans many years ago. They make it an attractive destination: it’s inexpensive, beautiful, and a private shuttle is provided to and from Cuenca at minimal cost. Many of my friends and acquaintances have gone there, and other than the usual quibbles about food, it seems universally loved. So a few months ago, when a friend suggested the two of us go for a few days in August upon her return to Ecuador, I eagerly agreed. It slotted in perfectly with my other monthly Ecuadorian explorations, and it was an area I hadn’t seen and wanted to explore. Upon my friend’s return, she opened the invitation to a larger friend group, and so we were now seven total, some of whom I knew and some I didn’t. In the end I appreciated this, as it gave me an opportunity to easily and chea…

Alausí and Nariz Del Diablo
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-08-15T00:43:08Z
subject: General
description: After traveling north four and a half hours on the bus from Cuenca, I arrived in Alausí for my 2pm train ride to Nariz Del Diablo — the world famous Devil’s Nose train, billed as “the most dangerous train in the world.” A bit of background: Ecuador once had a fairly extensive train system that … Continue reading Alausí and Nariz Del Diablo
encoded: After traveling north four and a half hours on the bus from Cuenca, I arrived in Alausí for my 2pm train ride to Nariz Del Diablo — the world famous Devil’s Nose train, billed as “the most dangerous train in the world.” A bit of background: Ecuador once had a fairly extensive train system that over time fell into disuse and disrepair and was shut down after a couple of revival attempts. Part of that system was the engineering marvel at Nariz Del Diablo. Ecuador is bisected by the Andes, and trains can’t easily climb mountains. The railway generally ran through valleys and gentle climbs up and down, but near Alausí, this was impossible due to an 800 meter sheer cliff called the Devil’s Nose. So a series of switchbacks at a 3.5% grade enabled the train to climb the cliff. At a cost of 2500 human lives, it was completed in 1902. The Nariz Del Diablo section of track was long operated as a tourist attraction, has been closed for several years, but reopened a couple of months ago. The bus dropped me off on the side of the autopista in Alausí, and I walked through town and dropped my backpack off at my hostel, Killa Wasi. It’s on a farm about a 15 minute walk from the center of Alausí. Very cool place, and my private room with private bath was $20. If you are staying in Alausí, it’s worth the schlep. I had time for lunch so I had the $3 almuerzo at Bukardia — the recommended place was empty and Bukardia was full of Ecuadorians, and for me a restaurant full of locals is a good sign. Delicious: first course of soup with a little beef on the bone, second course of pollo and sauce, potato salad, and rice with ahi, a dessert of stewed apples and pineapple, and watermelon juice. Watermelons were for sale everywhere so they must be grown locally. Coming out from lunch I saw the cutest guy walking the street on stilts. The whole thing surprised so much I forgot to take a picture. So random. I recovered my composure and tried to find him but he had gone. You would think someone on…

Quilatoa
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-07-21T23:03:22Z
subject: General
description: Left The Secret Garden around 10am for the journey to Chugchilan and The Black Sheep Inn for my Quilatoa visit. Two things made the trip’s start more pleasant. The mixto (pickup truck taxi) driver for the trip to Latacunga, where I’d get my bus, was Johana, who picked me up three days earlier in Machachi. … Continue reading Quilatoa
encoded: Left The Secret Garden around 10am for the journey to Chugchilan and The Black Sheep Inn for my Quilatoa visit. Two things made the trip’s start more pleasant. The mixto (pickup truck taxi) driver for the trip to Latacunga, where I’d get my bus, was Johana, who picked me up three days earlier in Machachi. Also just before leaving, a Dutch couple asked if they could share the ride, which cut the cost for me by two-thirds. They were both teachers and interesting people, which made the two-hour drive more pleasant. I could have just taken a bus for both legs of the trip, but I would have had to pay a mixto to get back to Machachi anyway. And then taken a bus to Latacunga from there. So as long as I’m in the mixto anyway, might as well get another chunk of trip done, and have only one bus ride. Arrived in Latacunga around noon, and just missed the noon bus. They run hourly, so not a big deal. The bus to Chugchilan from there is a very local bus, servicing small local communities. I was the only passenger going any distance. There were never more than three or four other passengers, and people got on and off frequently, often with large bags of things bought or to sell stored in the hold under the passenger compartment. Beautiful trip though, with frequently changing scenery that was hard to photograph from the moving bus. Picturesque small towns, winding roads, and, nearing Quilatoa, a tangled landscape of small shallow canyons. As my inn was past Quilatoa, I got a glimpse of the volcano from the outside, but not of the crater lake. The bus dropped me right at the entrance to the inn, which was not far up a steep, twisting hill. The Black Sheep Inn is an award-winning ecolodge. And when I say ecolodge, I don’t mean that they put out a sign asking you to reuse towels to save water, and call it good. All the food is vegetarian. Absolutely everything is recycled or reused. There’s a basket where you put your teabag sleeve, and they use them for scratch paper. Then, after t…

Cotopaxi
type: item
creator: jamie
date: 2025-07-19T14:46:55Z
subject: General
description: Round two of the monthly one week trips and I returned to Casa de Marmol and my new friend Irma and her family. I added a night in her Riobamba hostel going and coming. It is a nice halfway-ish point between Cuenca and Quito, and makes the length of the bus trip (5-6 hours Cuenca … Continue reading Cotopaxi
encoded: Round two of the monthly one week trips and I returned to Casa de Marmol and my new friend Irma and her family. I added a night in her Riobamba hostel going and coming. It is a nice halfway-ish point between Cuenca and Quito, and makes the length of the bus trip (5-6 hours Cuenca to Riobamba) bearable. I arrived at Casa de Marmol in the early afternoon, and Irma invited me to go with her and her family for Sunday lunch. There is a criollo (Venezuelan) restaurant nearby that they chose and I was glad to go there. I’d eaten there on my last trip and really enjoyed it. But it was made better with family. I had caldo de pata to start (cow’s foot soup, a yummy broth with a bone that had tasty cartilaginous goo to munch on). Second course was the same as last time — ensalada, potatoes with a sauce, rice — but this time lamb instead of rabbit. Saving the cuy for the next visit. Dessert was a little bit of pineapple, and the drink was avena (oat milk). Totally delicious, and Irma’s young granddaughter misbehaved charmingly, riding her small trike around the restaurant. Nobody minded. After our late lunch, Irma’s husband invited me to go with him up to his place in the mountains above Riobamba. He runs a charity that renovates living spaces for families that live in more remote areas. And so he knows the country quite well, and I enjoyed the ride and the guide. We spent a very nice couple of hours watering plants and enjoying the amazing view — Chimborazo was cloudy but the clouds were beautiful, and we had a panoramic view of Riobamba and the surrounding small towns. Cold cold cold and windy; July is winter below the equator. Achachay! After a restful sleep and a great breakfast courtesy of Irma (fruit, granola, and yogurt; ham on a roll; and coffee — I declined the omelet) I was on the bus to Machachi. The usual bad bus movies; no subtitles and low volume so I just watched the views roll by out the window. Irma had predicted three to three-and-a-half hours but it was close…