national (league) disgrace

honestly, i think i’m giving up on watching the all-star game. probably not really. i’m sure i’ll watch next year. but right now, i can’t imagine watching it.

it’s an exercise in frustration.

if you missed last night’s game, the american league won 3-2. the national league had a 2-1 lead, in the ninth inning, with two outs and two strikes on the last hitter. and trevor frigging hoffmann, the vaunted san diego closer, couldn’t get the third strike.

he instead gave up a two-run triple to blow the save and lose the game.

there are multiple issues to discuss here. the first, i guess, is that the issue is less that trevor hoffmann blew the save than phil garner (the national league coach) sent in a closer who relies not on powerful fastballs but on offspeed pitches, and then didn’t send in defensive specialists to back him up. miguel cabrera misplayed what should have been the third out. if scott rolen had been in, like he should have been, the game is over and the national league wins.

next up is the inherent stupidity of giving the winner of the all-star game world series home field advantage. the american league, because it doesn’t play real baseball and instead fields the abomination known as the designated hitter, has a built-in advantage because they have a bigger pool of offensive stars from which to pull. i understand that you can’t have the pitchers hitting in the alternate-year national league-based all-star games–the game is for all of the fans and god forbid a yankees fan should be made to watch a pitcher actually play the game as god intended.

but, given that, the american league is always going to have an advantage, and that is unfair. so give world series home field advantage to the team with the best record.

duh.

finally, i’d like to point out to everyone that, but for the mets players on the national league team, we wouldn’t be having this discussion at all. they provided nearly all of the offense and all of the scoring for the national league. david wright’s home run, and carlos beltran’s double, followed by stealing third, followed by scoring on a wild pitch. and beltran got into scoring position on second base in the bottom of the ninth, against mariano rivera no less, and no one could bring him, the tying run, home.

either wright or beltran would have been the all-star mvp.

should have been.

two outs. two strikes. top of the ninth. one run lead.

aaaaaargh. i’m still fuming.

march together for life

the onion is a satirical newspaper whose goal is to present satirical content in a straightforward manner, so much so that their articles can be mistaken for real.

mistaken for real, that is, if you are a total idiot who has no concept of what satire is.

which, apparently, is the case with pete, the fellow running “march together for life”, a blog that espouses an anti-abortion perspective. good for him, as long as he isn’t publishing the home addresses of abortion doctors. everyone has an opinion, and with appropriate time-and-place restrictions, everyone should be able to voice their opinions in the forum of their choice.

i’m pro-choice that way, too. blog away, pete.

but realize, too, that the world really will beat a path to your door if you reveal yourself to be a monumental fool. pete, in this case, found an article at the onion site from 1999 entitled “i’m totally psyched about having this abortion”.

and raged about it in his blog, not realizing that the article was satire.

and then tried to justify the lunacy in his follow-up piece.

read the comments. they are priceless. here’s my personal favorite:

“I’m pro life, but sweet Jesus you’re an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?
Boo | 07.08.06 – 12:24 am | # “

when you become so vitriolic and so committed to a cause that you lose your sense of humor when discussing your cause, you run the risk of falling over the precipice of reason into complete illogic and public ridicule. i’ve seen people like this when i worked with animal rights groups.

believe me, idiots like this are on both sides of the political spectrum.

it’s good to bring passion and fervor to your cause.

just don’t forget to bring the humor, perspective, and humility as well.

update: apparently the author removed the comments from the page. they are archived here.

extensive site changes

i just finished a massive set of changes to the site’s appearance. much better, huh?

what, you don’t notice the changes? wondering what they are?

well, maybe that’s because after implementing them, i decided i didn’t like them and changed things back to the way they were previously. so, unless you happened to visit in the 5 minutes they were live on the site, you’ll never know the difference.

and, anyway, they weren’t so massive. i just added the orange rounded-box bar thingy that’s on the right to the navigation links on the left. but that precipitated other numerous tweaks to get everything looking just right.

and then i decided i didn’t like the orange box on the left, so i changed it back, which didn’t take nearly as long, since i remembered how it was before.

it’s my site. it’s my prerogative.

if you have any constructive criticism of the site, feel free to leave it in the comments. keep in mind my design ethic, which is text-based, dial-up friendly (i try to stay away from slow-loading massive graphics files) and optimized for visually-impaired users.

i love to hear from you. yes, you.

kiki and herb are back!

and i have tickets.

in my inbox this morning–an email with a link to discount preview tickets for kiki and herb‘s one month broadway run.

of course i jumped all over it. third row aisle for the performance just before opening night. god am i excited.

i’ve seen kiki and herb perform every show they’ve done since i came to new york, starting (i think i’m remembering correctly) with fez. and we saw their off-broadway gig a number of times, because it was just so damn good. i think kirk may have seen them in other places before that, though. he’ll correct me in the comments if necessary, i hope.

and i had tickets to the infamous sold-out farewell performance at carnegie hall but, in one of the most bone-headed moves i’ve ever committed, i forgot to go.

you can’t imagine how mad at myself i was. i still have my unripped pair of tickets, though. maybe someday i’ll ebay one of them.

kiki and herb are technically a drag cabaret act, though calling them that is like calling frank sinatra a crooner, or calling babe ruth a former big-league pitcher. it completely understates the brilliance of what they do, which transcends drag and is politically, sexually, and psychologically charged. their invented history, which kiki recounts on stage between wildly inappropriate songs and frequent sips on the canadian club, is at once hysterically funny, brilliantly poignant, and morbidly tragic. it’s one of the best performances you’ll ever see, and you should not miss it.

i can hardly wait for this one, which thanks to my google calendar i will not miss.

will not miss.

will not miss.

a fecking bloody mess, it is

the lieutenant of inishmore, that is. the play what i saw last night, at the theater i last attended when i saw the play what i wrote.

oh. my. god.

it’s an excellent play, a brilliant play, perhaps even a great play, in the true sense of the word “great”. but it definitely gives fresh meaning to grand guignol.

the plot? a former ira member who is forming a splinter group entrusts his cat to his father’s care. the cat dies. a coverup, and gruesome hilarity, ensues.

but hilarity with a point. it’s a cogent commentary on terrorism, but it’s not a connection you really think about actively until the end of the play, because the play is so well written and so darkly comic that you are wrapped up in the plot and the comedy.

it’s dark, though. really dark. and incredibly bloody, and gory, and shocking, and startling. leave the kids and your squeamish friends at home, or bring them along for added entertainment. i loved every minute. and toward the end of the play is the best line with the most impeccable delivery i’ve seen in a theater in ages. the line, which will mean little or nothing out of context, is “when will it all end?” i laughed so hard i nearly peed a little, and then stopped and saw the other meanings of the phrase, and immediately got the brilliance of the play.

by the end of the play you, like the characters, are completely inured to the violence you have witnessed, and it’s not pretty to recognize that in yourself. but it’s certainly instructive.

this is a farce that joe orton would have killed to have written. well, maybe that’s not the best way to put it. but you get the idea.

i can’t imagine that this season’s best play tony award winner, “the history boys”, is better than this.

but it certainly must have been a safer pick for voters than this.

the evening began with a return visit (for me) and a first visit (for kirk) to rene pujol–fantastic french food that’s not inexpensive but is a great value. i had saucisse chaud avec lentilles (warm garlic sausage with lentil salad) followed by a lightly breaded grouper with saffron risotto; both were excellent. kirk had a smoked salmon salad followed by pork tenderloin with cooked greens and mashed potatoes. i thought the pork tenderloin was the best dish of the evening–perfectly cooked and juicy and tender.

it wasn’t fussy food–it was quality ingredients prepared with expert attention to detail.

it was a great new york night–i just wished it didn’t have to end.

fun touristy saturday

i know it’s wednesday, but i want to tell you about my day last saturday, because it was so much fun.

i spent most of the day with one of my former students, kim, and her husband glenn and her son matthew. kim was my first yearbook editor when i first took over as adviser, so as you can imagine we have quite a history and i have quite a soft spot for her.

hers was the only book i ever put out the old-fashioned way, on paper with hand-drawn layouts for the printer. the very next year, we switched to pagemaker on the mac, and put out one of the first all-desktop-published yearbooks in the country.

but i’m bragging now, and digressing as well.

kim and her family visited new york last saturday, so i met them and i had a bang-up time, doing all the stuff that resident new yorkers never do. like riding the staten island ferry, eating a coal-fired-oven-baked pizza at john’s, hanging out at toys r us and the hershey store, and just walking around times square, which i normally avoid like the plague.

and though i am so not a “kid person”, her son matthew was cool as all hell. all big wide eyes and questions. and he loved the thin-crust new york pizza, so you know he has good taste. i’d have taken him home, but he was spoken for already.

so now i can not go on the staten island ferry, and not go to times square and such for a few more years. but i’m glad i went last saturday.

i had a blast. who knew. must have been the company.

superman returns

saw the new superman flick at the imax theater at 67th and broadway. i’m not a huge comic book fan–never was. although i liked me some richie rich and scrooge mcduck when i was very young. but in general, i never got into comic books. so the current fad of making comic books into movies is a bit lost on me. i don’t have a ready-made, built-in love of the characters, so when i go see these movies i’m watching them on their own merits, and judging them accordingly.

kirk told me that the the script was extremely clever with lots of very intelligent throwaway lines (Lois Lane introducing Superman to her new boyfriend: “Richard. Clark. He’s an expert on international affairs.”)

frankly that one went sailing past me. but all the quasi-religious themes i got right away–maybe because that’s where my head is at these days. I wasn’t expecting much and was pleasantly surprised by how good everything was. the movie did a great job with all the Superman mythology–at least, the parts i’m aware of.

all of the movie was in imax, but some of the movie was 3d as well. The 3D was irritating as all hell though. It wasn’t 20 consecutive minutes of 3D–it was 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there. So you were on-with-the-glasses, off-with-the-glasses whenever they flashed icons on the screen. That made it hard to get lost in the movie. the 3D had the same slight double-image problem that they all do for me, and the parts that they chose to make 3d were kind of fast moving, so there was a lot of blur. I’d have preferred all or nothing on the 3d. But the movie looked incredible on the IMAX screen.

the movie did well but did not have outrageously record breaking business over the weekend, but i have a feeling that this movie is going to be around for a while. people all over new york (i noticed after the movie) are wearing superman-logo clothing. i mean tons of people. it’s a bit weird. and the same geeky guys that bring their light sabres to the star wars movies were out in force last night–lots of superman-themed people at the movie. it’s going to build buzz, i think. and have legs, as they say in the business.

If you are a Superman fan (which I’m really not), or even if you just like well-paced, intelligent, fun movies (which I do), this is a must-see in my opinion.

i do not look like anita mui

whoever the hell she is.

myheritage.com is a cool-ish new (new to me, anyway) geneaology website that has face-recognition software that, i suppose, is supposed to be useful in tracking down just who the hell that person in the back of that old photo is, or something.

but to attract mass amounts of users of the interweb, they let you upload a picture and they compare it to a database of celebrities, so that you know which famous person you resemble.

hypothetically speaking.

here are my results.

i do not look like anita mui. but, having read the title of this blog entry, you already know that.

i also do not look like dolph lundgren. or mustafa sandal, or kareena kapoor, if you ask me.

but i didn’t ask me. i asked myheritage.com–which is, if you ask me, sorely in need of an upgrade to their facial recognition software.

i guess the theory is that, as people upload and compare pictures, the software learns and gets better or something. i certainly hope, though, that some poor schlub doesn’t get told that he looks like jamie howard, queerspace.com’s famous webmaster.

nice try, myheritage. but no cigar from me.

music, back in the day

ever wonder why, in your memory, music on vinyl records seemed to sound better than digital cds do today?

assuming, of course, that you are old enough to remember what vinyl sounded like.

as it turns out, you haven’t lost your mind.

it’s not old-fogeyism creeping in, although i find myself saying things like “back when i was young” far too often anymore. there’s a technical reason for it, in addition to the ones you may already know about the wonders of analog and rattle-and-hum.

in an effort to make digital music louder, which is what uninformed consumers who can’t control a volume knob and an equalizer apparently want, labels are mastering music in a way that boosts volume but clips out the highs and lows of the music.

where the detail is. there are physical limitations to all this, and sound detail is lost in the process. there’s an amazing graphic at the linked story which compares the waveforms of a red hot chili peppers song on cd and on vinyl, and that image tells it all.

and, (who knew), some of those crazy younguns like vinyl better anyway.

i may have to go home and listen to my original master recording of pink floyd’s “dark side of the moon”, if i still have it.

pretty cool that vinyl records are on the cutting edge, technologically and socially.

good for the supremes

the supreme court has blocked president bush from ordering military war crimes trials for detainees at guantanamo bay in cuba. it’s a major blow to his so-called “war on terror” which thus far has caused more worldwide terror than it has stopped, if you ask me.

and the result was 5-3, meaning that even though chief justice roberts sat out the case, his vote either way would not have changed the outcome. too bad justice scalia doesn’t have the same set of ethics as does roberts–scalia, as he’s proven time and again, would never have recused himself even if he should have.

and as i’ve said so many times, the supreme court ends up being an independent institution, no matter how much effort presidents put into stacking the deck in their favor.

those people are independent cusses, and, if you think about their decisions impartially, they get it right nearly all the time.

good for scotus. go scotus.

not colorblind

well, i am colorblind in that i do not care about the color of the skin of my fellow man/woman and all that politically correct happiness and light.

but i am not colorblind in the physical sense. you can go here and see if you are. i can see all the numbers in the dotty circle things, so i guess i’m ok. and i have better than 20/20 vision, uncorrected. there should be a job for me there somewhere, with my perfect eyesight.

anyway, today i ran across a fascinating link to a reverse colorblindness test. there are pictures there that test the color perception of people without colorblindness. if you are colorblind, you see the “hidden” image right away.

if you aren’t colorblind to some degree, you won’t see the image at all. i didn’t.

i like things like this–things that give you a different perspective on the “normal” take on things. i like that there’s a test that makes the “normal” person understand how a colorblind person feels.

here’s another cool link along those lines–a colorblind webpage filter. you can put in a url and a type of colorblindness, and the site will render the page to show you what that page would look like to a colorblind person.

the internets are a wonderful place, aren’t they?

the national priorities project

here’s a page that will get you fired up and cranky for sure. at least it got me fired up and cranky.

it’s the national priorities project. there you can, for instance, find out how your tax dollars could be better spent, either nationally or in your area. ever wondered how many cops could get put on the street in your state if bush didn’t waste so much money on “star wars” missile defenses? if so, this is your place.

maybe you are completely happy with the way that the government is collecting and spending your tax dollars. if you are, then don’t bother clicking. but i have a feeling that, no matter what your political persuasion is, you’d be happier if your money was spent more wisely.

and anyway, who the hell is happy with the government? certainly no one i know, republican, democrat, or otherwise.

nothing new at apple

the online apple store was closed for an hour or so earlier today.

sending mac fans everywhere into paroxysms of delight. usually this means there’s a new product being sold. was it a new ipod? the video ipod? upgraded computer hardware? something no one had guessed as yet?

unfortunately for them (and me, by proxy) it seems to be nothing more than routine maintenance.

we’re a sad lot sometimes, apple fans are. but when the products are usually so good, it’s easy to get caught up in the hype.

birds do it, bees do it…

have homosexual sex, that is.

and more than just birds and bees. evidently bighorn sheep, giraffes, bottlenose dolphins, killer whales, gray whales, west indian manatees, japanese macaques, and hundreds of other species are getting their same-sex jollies.

that’s been a known fact for some time, though. but the scientific community, through their outright homophobia or maybe just their squeamishness, has not thought through the impact of this.

but now joan roughgarden has, and the implications are staggering.

staggering as in shaking the very foundations of darwinism.

as the article says, “For too long…biology has neglected evidence that mating isn’t only about multiplying. Sometimes, as in the case of all those gay sheep, dolphins and primates, animals have sex just for fun or to cement their social bonds. Homosexuality…is an essential part of biology, and can no longer be dismissed. By using the queer to untangle the straight, Roughgarden’s theories have the potential to usher in a scientific sexual revolution.”

this article is an absolute must-read…one of the most fascinating accounts of divergent thinking that i’ve run across in some time. the kind of article that not only forces you to consider what you think of ms. roughgarden’s thesis, but also to reconsider the basic tenets of what you’ve believed to be true all your life.

like this, for instance: she believes that there is proof that bisexuality is the norm in the animal world (we are animals too, you know), and that “the hetero/homo distinction is a purely cultural creation, and not a fact of biology”.

or this: “At this point, we have thousands of species that deviate from the standard account of Darwinian sexual selection. So we get all these special case exemptions, and we end up downplaying whatever facts don’t fit. The theory…clearly has the trajectory of a hypothesis in trouble.”

she’s currently being shouted down by much of the entrenched scientific community for what are ostensibly valid (to them) reasons, but behind their official objections, there’s the fact that ms. roughgarden used to be mr. roughgarden. unofficially, they think that colors ms. roughgarden’s conclusions.

maybe it just takes one to know one?

in the front row

well, not the exact front row, but damn close. at the mets game last night.

kirk and i buy tickets for a lot of mets games. usually we end up going to at least 5 or 6 games, sometimes more. and when we buy tickets we always get the upper deck. not because we are cheap.

but because i am cheap.

and we also, truly, like the view. i like the upper deck directly behind home plate. you get the best view of the game there. you can see it all, all at one time, and in the proper perspective.

but now and then i get free mets tickets from vendors through work. and the vendors of course have box seats in the best locations, and they give them all out to their clients, and they filter down to me because in new york, everyone wants yankees tickets, and i am one of the few mets fans around.

so last night we had field box seats, section 30, which is directly behind the visitors’ on-deck circle, about five rows back. i could have spit on ken griffey if i had wanted to. the mets were playing the reds, you know. but i like ken griffey just fine, so i didn’t. all the best people don’t spit on other people at baseball games. it’s just not done.

anyway, it was a rare treat. and there was actual waiter service at your seat, and a menu of better ballpark food from which to choose, and so kirk and i got our mama’s of corona’s sub and smoked chicken wrap and nathan’s french fries and diet coke and root beer delivered to our seats.

at great expense, but sometimes in life you splurge.

and we were there with my friend from work, and her daughter. and her daughter got a baseball that the guy next to her caught, which was a total thrill for her. and she got to see david wright up close and personal–she has a big crush on him. good taste, that girl has. can’t argue with her logic there.

but, try as i might, it was hard to concentrate on the game. there are too many places to look at one time, and it was hard to keep track of everything that was going on. in the upper deck, you can see the shifts the defense puts on, and you can tell if a ball is a home run or not, and your eye can follow the ball around the field much better.

it’s fun to live the high life on field level every now and then, but i’m basically an upper deck guy.

not going to find it here

this site is registered at google.com, so i can get lots of info about my site there. one of the most interesting pages is a list of the top search queries for my site, and where my site ranks in that query. when i need a laugh, i go look at the list. it amazes me what people search for.

here are some of the top search queries for my site. the link for each will click through to the google search.

» paolo nutini lyrics and its corollary, lyrics paolo nutini. there are no paolo nutini lyrics on my site. sorry. i saw him at the new york pops benefit, and i barely even remember what he looked like, let alone what he sang. i remember liking him, though. it’s odd to me that this is far and away the number one search result on my site. it’s even scarier that it’s the number one clickthrough as well. what must his fans think upon arriving at this particular little outpost?

» jamie’s lemon tart. i’m sorry. i don’t have a lemon tart. i must have eaten one and written about it, or at least mentioned “lemon” and “tart” in close proximity. but no recipes around here.

» jamie’s scottish evening. ooooooh la la. i’ll never divulge the secrets of my scottish evening, especially on the internets. seriously, i’ve never been to scotland, though kirk is dying to get me to edinburgh.

» jamie far. poor guy from m.a.s.h. nobody knows how to spell his last name. here’s a link, for you spelling-crippled queerspace arrivistes: jamie farr.

» jamie’s palm beach. this one confuses me a bit. is there a jamie somewhere who owns a beach laden with palms? is there a bar somewhere named “jamie’s palm beach”? is there a side to the city of palm beach that only a certain jamie is aware of?

» who sang da do ron ron recently? darlene love, according to my blog about the pops benefit. but i think she sang it originally, so that’s a bit misleading if you want to know anyone who sang it in the intervening 45 years. i should blog more about the new york pops, evidently.

you get the idea. i guess if i provided actual content instead of insane ramblings, my results would be better.

pd, useless no more

pd is my cat. actually she was kirk’s cat, and now she’s our cat. and actually i have two cats, pd and morgan. but pd (the black and white cat in the sidebar picture) is today’s subject.

pd is useless no more.

i wrote about pd previously, and it was very facetious. let me stress that pd is lovable, and cuddly, and affectionate, and doesn’t scratch anywhere except the scratching post, and can’t meow more than a peep so makes no noise, and eats very little and is in perfect health.

the perfect pet. unlike morgan, who is a bulemic pain in the ass, though lovably so.

so pd has always been useful in the sense that she does what a cat is supposed to do in the affection department. but she has (i thought) always been useless in the mouse department.

as we live in an old new york apartment building directly on the park, we get the occasional mouse. little tiny field mice, once or twice a year, find their way in. the last one lived under the fridge until he/she wandered into the hav-a-heart trap to eat peanut butter, and was subsequently relocated from under the fridge to the nearby park.

but the cats, other than staring at the fridge, really did nothing. one time (years ago) we came home to find a dead mouse in the middle of the floor. untouched and immaculate. the cats (three at the time) were seated around it, staring at it.

i swear that mouse died of natural causes in our living room. i guess we’ll never know.

you’d think that the presence of cats would at least be a deterrent. it didn’t seem to be the case, though.

but last night, we heard unusual cat movements, and kirk got up to go to the bathroom, and then yelled “gross!” i got up, and there was pd.

and a mouse.

a dying mouse that she had caught and was torturing slowly.

now this was the smallest mouse imaginable. not including the tail, i don’t think it was even an inch and a half long. i wrapped it in paper towels and flushed it.

and praised pd repeatedly.

i have newfound respect for pd. go pd, you mouse-catching tyro.

bbq block party pt. 2

we went back yesterday for day two of the bbq block party–we had nearly $90 left on our stored value card so getting more bbq was not a problem.

except for my stomach, of course.

we had ubon’s bbq from yazoo, mississippi. it was a shredded pork sandwich in large chunks. the end bits were burned and crispy and tasty, but the taste got a bit lost for me in the long striated strips of meat at the other end. it might have been better chopped up more finely…just a personal preference for me.

we had brisket and sausage from the salt lick bbq in driftwood, texas. going head to head with brisket and sausage from southside market in elgin is risky business for me, but it held up surprisingly well. a nice smoke line on the brisket, and the sausage was juicy and delicious. still, second place behind elgin for me.

i of course made a return trip for more southside market brisket and sausage, just to make sure. as i suspected, my memory hadn’t failed me. it’s still my favorite bbq of the weekend. kirk may have liked the 17th street ribs a bit better, and we would have tried more of that, but they were sold out by the time we got there in mid-afternoon.

we finished up with more smoki o’s rib tips and, god bless that woman, they still had some pig snoot in reserve so i got more of that. and it was still just as good as it was on the previous day. just the best version of pork rinds you’ve ever had.

we never did bother with dinosaur or with blue smoke. not that they aren’t good–they are–but they are in new york so why bother. we still had $30 on our card after all that, and our stomachs were crying uncle, so we got two $15 t-shirts and called it a day.

if you look for me at the gym, i’ll be the one in the black smoki o’s t-shirt.

if you didn’t go this year, you had better get there next year. it’s my favorite weekend of the whole year. love it love it love it.